Take a piece of paper and make three columns. Title column one, SALVE; title column two ‘The Cost of Salving’ and title column three ‘Benefits of Solving.’ In column one, list one to five items you are currently salving. Fill out the rest of your template as completely as you can paying attention to the emotions you feel while describing the issues, the costs of continuing to salve and the benefits of addressing them. Decide which issue would make the most difference in your life if you really addressed it, and create a plan to solve it.
Some of those issues might really belong to someone else. If so, give the issue to the real owner. That is still a ‘solve’ because it was not your problem in the first place. The key is becoming aware of when you are ‘salving’ and when you are ‘solving’ and making good choices about what to do when. Be prepared to be uncomfortable at first, but do it anyway. This is a practice that requires practice. Initially pulling off the Band-Aid may sting a little, but in the long run it will hurt a lot less.